There’s a little slice of paradise the exists within the walls of my home. It’s not known about by the others who live here… it’s existence is disguised as an ordinary bathroom.
Not very large but cozy and cute (it has a beachy-theme going on), it appears to be a simple place of pottying, bathing, teeth-brushing and handwashing. It’s usually visited in groups…no one really gets much alone time in our bathroom. But, as is the usual case, there’s an exception to every rule.
Every night when the children in the house have sighed that heavy, final sigh that let’s you know they’re actually asleep and you can roll out of the bed undetected, I quietly choose my outfit for the night – whatever I feel like lounging and sleeping in. I walk down to the bathroom and sigh my final sigh of the day… I’ve made it to my oasis – the shower.
I used to be a “morning shower” person but it now seems to work best for me to shower at night. I have found that my nightly shower is more than just cleaning off physically, it’s a time of emotional and mental cleansing too. The buildup of the day – not always physical dirt but emotional clutter in need of washing away too – is ready to be cast off and washed down the drain. This has become my spa time… the only time of the day that someone doesn’t follow me or find me in the bathroom.
When I first step in, the cascade of the shower water reminds me of a rushing waterfall… that is, when I don’t have a newborn and that worry of missing a cry is still fresh (you know that “phantom cry” you hear in your head in the shower when your baby is actually silently sleeping?). I so enjoy massaging my face as I cleanse…massaging my scalp as I shampoo. As I wash my body, I wash away the negativity of my day. All of my moments I wish I could do better next time seem to dissolve into the suds of my current favorite soap bar. Sometimes I cry – sometimes my feelings of not-good-enough just mix into that water and feel like a huge release.
And have you ever brought an adult beverage into your shower? Hello instant vacation! You can pretend your overhead light is the sun if you close your eyes and imagine hard enough. I definitely appreciate a cool glass of wine as I stand like a statue under my waterfall of reprieve. I’ve learned that this 15 minutes of hot water is more important than any “15 minutes of fame” I could glean in Hollywood.Photo by Cat Runyan
The feeling I have when I know it’s time to end my shower is tantamount to that of a child being told that it’s time to leave the playground. I yell “noooo” in my head every time I turn the handle to the off position. There’s always a chill in the air as I step out and wrap myself in a towel. But, and this is true every.single.time., I feel better after a good shower. The promise of the next shower is only a day away. In the meantime, I’ll enjoy dirtying myself in the imperfect messiness of life… still knowing that I can wash it away and refresh when the day is done and begin anew tomorrow.
This article appeared on Mothering.com in May 2015
About the Author
Author: Charline Perez
Charline lives outside of Pittsburgh, PA with her husband and sons. Passionate about the inherent strength and beauty of womanhood, she seeks to develop within herself and share with others through her interests in fertility, pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, parenting and holistic living. Charline stays busy laughing and learning with her boys while supporting and encouraging moms, babies and families as a La Leche League leader, doula and leader of various groups and workshops through her business, The Whole Way Doula Services. She serves as Creative Marketing Manager and social media administrator for Holistic Parenting Magazine.